Because a lot of men don't know what they need. And the ones who do are afraid to ask.
I was both. For years, I couldn't have told you what I needed — not because I didn't have needs, but because I'd spent so long ignoring them that I'd lost the signal. And the rare times I did know, I wouldn't say it, because saying it felt like a demand, and demands push people away.
Most men I talk to are somewhere on this spectrum. They either can't identify what they need, or they can but won't say it. Both come from the same place: the belief that a man's needs are a burden. That good men don't need things. That needing something is a sign that you're not enough.
I've been learning to name what I need out loud, and I'm going to be honest — it still feels uncomfortable. But every time I do it, something gets better. Not because I always get what I need, but because I've stopped pretending I don't have needs. And a man who can say what he needs is a man who can be known. A man who can't is a man who's starving in silence and resenting the people around him for not reading his mind.
You're not a burden for having needs. You're human. Say what you need. Let people show up for you. And if they don't, you'll at least know where you stand.
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